never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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