You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
