Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
