I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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