Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
my vag is so smooth its legendary
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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