i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Randomize