what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
