I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
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