So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
i would punch a child for taco bell
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
