I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
