piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
