i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
