My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
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