I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Randomize
