How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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