You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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