So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize