I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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