i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
