; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Randomize
