I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
These 17 Parents Decided to Cut Contact With Their Horrible Kids
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
17 People Reveal The Reasons Behind Their Foot Fetish
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent