it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
