Texts From Last Night

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  (773): View more from Illinois

  smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands

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  (773): smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands http://tfl.nu/8z3t
  Replies (98) Good night (4767) Bad night (873)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.

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  (410): I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it. http://tfl.nu/si6n
  Replies (19) Good night (6574) Bad night (1242)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  i think i recognize dicks better than faces

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  (250): i think i recognize dicks better than faces http://tfl.nu/zcpp
  Replies (56) Good night (3990) Bad night (3104)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.

  (1-206): View more from Washington

  You are nothing if not reliable.

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  (206): I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different. (1-206): You are nothing if not reliable. http://tfl.nu/5ioj
  Replies (11) Good night (5312) Bad night (1821)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.

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  (904): Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do. http://tfl.nu/0tan
  Replies (18) Good night (6202) Bad night (1548)
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  (631): View more from New York

  I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me

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  (631): I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me http://tfl.nu/qlti
  Replies (13) Good night (5473) Bad night (1357)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?

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  (253): We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this? http://tfl.nu/8b98
  Replies (7) Good night (2560) Bad night (1613)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?

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  (904): This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide? http://tfl.nu/lwqx
  Replies (13) Good night (608) Bad night (1497)
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.

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  (218): I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent. http://tfl.nu/0vft
  Replies (25) Good night (2491) Bad night (896)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"

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  (717): As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!" http://tfl.nu/v5cm
  Replies (2) Good night (1412) Bad night (524)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.

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  (317): Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed. http://tfl.nu/ma7i
  Replies (6) Good night (820) Bad night (451)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??

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  (608): He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case?? http://tfl.nu/iqff
  Replies (4) Good night (390) Bad night (558)
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  (941): View more from Florida

  do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?

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  (941): do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon? http://tfl.nu/9qjs
  Replies (7) Good night (596) Bad night (289)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.

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  (727): I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now. http://tfl.nu/q4wq
  Replies (0) Good night (795) Bad night (261)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina

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  (203): I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina http://tfl.nu/g6m0
  Replies (6) Good night (628) Bad night (332)

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