a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.