you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
29 Unspoken Rules Of “Bro Code”
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?