TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Dating After Heartbreak
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!