Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?