Texts From Last Night

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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill

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  (832): I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill http://tfl.nu/19kp
  Replies (3) Good night (556) Bad night (2070)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?

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  (703): why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall? http://tfl.nu/4ssb
  Replies (14) Good night (2151) Bad night (761)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.

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  (843): He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name. http://tfl.nu/s3qy
  Replies (52) Good night (17262) Bad night (1239)
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  (623): View more from Arizona

  I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.

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  (623): I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit. http://tfl.nu/pl0y
  Replies (15) Good night (5073) Bad night (618)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.

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  (307): Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding. http://tfl.nu/82eq
  Replies (10) Good night (4343) Bad night (615)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.

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  (303): They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other. http://tfl.nu/yacp
  Replies (2) Good night (2799) Bad night (821)
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  (516): View more from New York

  i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs

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  (516): i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs http://tfl.nu/7d0f
  Replies (6) Good night (2530) Bad night (986)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...

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  (847): I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest... http://tfl.nu/j6s5
  Replies (6) Good night (2462) Bad night (684)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio

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  (617): The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio http://tfl.nu/9d6t
  Replies (10) Good night (3413) Bad night (697)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?

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  (918): Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo? http://tfl.nu/ep0z
  Replies (22) Good night (1924) Bad night (441)
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.

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  (269): Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done. http://tfl.nu/tz4a
  Replies (6) Good night (1067) Bad night (431)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.

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  (406): Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor. http://tfl.nu/e8dt
  Replies (8) Good night (990) Bad night (460)
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  (914): View more from New York

  It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.

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  (914): It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup. http://tfl.nu/9ulw
  Replies (7) Good night (460) Bad night (1942)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...

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  (412): rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea... http://tfl.nu/7e3n
  Replies (1) Good night (266) Bad night (381)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me

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  (+44): Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me http://tfl.nu/vnu7
  Replies (1) Good night (174) Bad night (292)

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