Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
