Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize
