...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
