I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
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