dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
