You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
last night I used snow as a chaser
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
