God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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