Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Randomize
