but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
