If i come over, it means nothing
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize
