I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
