i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
