I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Drunk is not a location!
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
