im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
