I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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