Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
