how can u be prego again
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Randomize
