You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
