You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
