I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
