thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
