Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
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