Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
And then he peed in my hair
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