Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
