Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize
