I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
then he tried to convert me to islam
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize
