In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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