Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
All the doctor said was why
I woke up under a house in Key West
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