i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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