I have demons in me.
We named our party play list daddy issues
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
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