Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize