They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Randomize
