im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
