Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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