how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
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So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
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