Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
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