...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
