yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
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