The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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