dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
