I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
