this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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