I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
